Not sure how to feel!

Sorry to all those UKScrappers and Vegetable gardeners who come to look at my blog for SB and veggie stuff!
Having not been at work its all gone to pot! Well hopefully till tomorrow when i get back into my normal routine!

Got to Ks last night and whats on the wall when you walk in the door? A happy happy old family photo of a holiday with Ks ex girlfriend in (the mother of his children)...then I get shown the girls room...what is in there? Thats right Pics of K the girls and HER again!

Thing that makes me laugh is the K's mum HATES E (the mother of the children) so makes me wonder HOW much she hates me as I couldn't even make it in the Lanarote holiday pics on the fridge!

K won't talk to me about it as it upsets him...apprantly I can't be upset about it!

I spent a while cooking a nice chilli, one with beans for me and his mum and one without for K and his dad.
She sat there with a face like a slapped backside and was so ungratful...so I got drunk, which doesn't take alot coz I don't usually drink!

Its makes me sooooooooo cross. And I realise he doesn't want to talk about it coz it stresses him out but I need to talk about it!!!

What do I do?

This is the last photo I have with my 'babies' this was just after I left over 3 years ago :o(

R on the left is about to start year 5, G is going up to year 2 and my baby who was 8weeks old when i started is about to start school!!!!

I had a great conversation with them all today on the phone and I am so sad I haven't been in touch for so long...I miss them :o(

Although feel really old! ha ha ha old at 24 (sorry 24 1/2!!!)

I have returned!!!

I got back from Leeds yesterday, after a journey that took me 45mins longer than expected due to the fact I stopped at the scene of an accident I witnessed.
I felt it was the right thing to do and i'm pleased that I stopped, just coz I know that the people in the car and the Lorry driver were all ok.
Still cross no one else stopped to help.

Had a lovely time in Leeds with my Aunty Jo, despite the weather being on the miserable side. We went shopping in Leeds which has a Jo Malone!!! and Molton Brown shop! Luckily I didn't spend too much money!!! :o)

Last night K and I went out to the pub, had a few drinks, few games of darts and it was so lovely. I love spending time with him just mucking about and talking. We had lots of fun!!!! :o)

I'm off to his tonight, which i'm nervous about. I know his mum hates me, so just worried about how shes going to be with me.

I know people have their doubts, but we truly love each other and want to give things another go :o)
And the people who have doubts aren't in the realtionship...in fact one of them has never been in a relationship! So despite having bad times, we have some good times and we love each other!

Going back to watch Jerry Springer! Oh yes!!! Its Saturday and Jerry Springer is the way to go!!!!!!

blah...

Feeling really blah tonight....

So sad to be leaving my dads, wish I could stay up here longer, but i've obviously made plans to visit my aunt and can't let her down.

Got a old friend who i hear is really depressed tonight, and I just wanna email her and say...It WILL be ok. Just chill out and enjoy what you have at the moment!

Things with K are going great this week, despite not seeing him at all!!!
Just can't WAIT to get back home with him...although not looking forwards to having to tell his mum she's a bitch, and I don't care if she hates me! ha ha

He also brought me a dress for an upcoming wedding...not sure how it will look on, but will give it a go...can't hurt can it. Always got the fall back trousers!

Totally Love this.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47zTfXOFeTQ

But this is no where near as good as the London version....or as good as the C.D version but love it regardless!

I sing my little heart out in the car to this!

Today....

Today I have no get up and go again to Scrapbook.
Got an album to finsh for next Friday and I just can't find what I want to finish it! Grrrrrr
Where has my mojo gone? Can anyone find it?

I'm missing my veggie patch, my babies. I wonder how well they have grown or if they have been attacked by the wildlife?
Still trying to work out what to plant next, Garlic is as far as I got!

Today we went to the pub for breakfast and at 10.30 the pub was really busy! I mean REALLY busy! So we spent the meal hiding from 'Nick' who was drunk and chatting to us last time I was up, and also hiding from 'Paddy' who was chatting me up Thursday night! But was nice speanding time all together!

Then we headed off to Wigan to visit Step mums, Mum.
She's in a care home and loosing her marbles, but KNOWS she loosing them, which is so sad.
We took her out for tea and cake, and then a walk.
On the walk we recreated some old photos
New ones

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v654/sarahletch/DSC02018.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v654/sarahletch/DSC02023.jpg

and will post the old ones some time next week when I'm back at work!

Its really odd being back here, In a good way!

Although missing the girls like mad and also missing K...hope tomorrow will be busier!

When in Rome...Do as the Romans do!

So today I have made my very 1st pie!

I've been desperate to make a pie for MONTHS but with cook books we have at work, I can't find any thing simple enough that the girls would eat, which is a real pain!

So while 'up norf' I have been taught, by my step mum, how to make a....Meat and Potato Pie!

10oz SR flour
2oz suet
3oz cooking marg

for the pastry

Thats mainly for my own reference so I can remember when I get home!

Veggies

Does anyone know what needs to be planted?

Off to check gardeners world site, and stuff but thought I'd see if anyone else knew!

UPDATE;

I haven't been able to get on gardeners world website ALL night!

Butterfly

Butterfly
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

Haven't really got anything to blog about, but feel like I have to blog...maybe its becoming an addiction?!

So thought i'd shove this picture up from the Amazing Butterflies exhibition at the NHM in London I took my sister V26 to for her birthday (along with Wicked)

I have a few more of them (I think) over on my facebook page....http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=49820&l=ec932&id=500867585
Not sure if the link will work but worth a try...there are obviously other random photos from my adventures!

Feeling a little less sorry for myself today...hoping that everything is going to work out ok, and I'm sure it will.

Been into Huddersfield today, mooching as we Letch's do best! Had coffee at Cafe Nero and popped to M&S to buy some food. Step mum now back in bed as she's not been very wel :o(

Feeling...

...really lost today in many areas of my life.

Just wanna have a good cry :'o(

And don't you HATE people that B!tch about you behind your back, but don't have the balls to say in to your face?
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooo fed up.

Can't sleep....again!

So i'm laying here with so much going on in my mind...

No chance of getting some sleep but need at least a few hours to make the drive up to Hudderfield tomorrow!
I've changed my original departure date, due to a change in plans...K isn't very well and as i'm not a nurse maid, so i'm going to leave early and sing my little heart out to Wicked ALL the way up norf! ha ha ha

Its a shame no one seems to be online coz although sleeply and thoughtful, I am in quiet a playful sort of mood...you know chucking things at my sis leaving random messages on peoples walls on facebook :o) real grown up sort of stuff!

I'm missing work like mad! I don't do 'bored' well and I guess thats why i'm not working and also not working gives me time to think...and thinking does no good! No good what-so-ever! lol

Guess if my battery on LT runs out I WILL have to sleep but apprantly got 30mins before that happens! ha ha ha

So what else can i chatter about?

Did you know...A toothbrush within 6 feet of a toilet can get airborne bacteria from flushing.

Interesting thought hey!!!

Right running off now to check my emails! and just to save everyone from any more random facts!

Flowers2

Flowers2
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

So my Wicked LO has gone on hold for the time being and I have worked more on my album for my step mum.

I think, despite my 1st thoughts on the green paper, it works quite well...

I don't want to over do the LO's as they pictures are so beautiful and i think it will over shaddow them....but maybe it needs a title?

Can't work on it any more tonight, so put it away and will get it out when I feel I have so insperation

New banner

I've added a new banner....It has pictures of most the things in life I love

Obviously there is a picture of myself!
Then a picture of myself and the beautiful girls I look after S6 and I3, Love them to bits!
Darts...I love playing darts at the moment.
London Eye... I love London and having adventures in London!
Khan...I love watching Khan fight...I don't really do sports but love watching Khan!
Music...explains it all.
Laptop...again no need to explain!
Camera...I love taking pictures of EVERYTHING and I will admit to keeping most of the pictures I take!
Vegetable Garden...I love my little veggie plot, It gives me so much pleasure! :o)

I'm sure it will change as things pop into my head but for the moment I love it! :o)

100 veiws on my blog...

Now is that all just me or is there anyone else out there reading about my fun filled life of darts, scrapbooking, camping and adventures?

Hello if your reading!

Xxxx

Wicked 2

Wicked 2
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

I think the 1% made me change my mind to this lay out, although I feel I need maybe to something to soften up the join?

Sarah does Animal SOS

Hedgehog
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

My brother J10 found a baby hedgehog this evening.

I rang a vets hoping they would give me some advice on what to do with it...who to ring or something helpful.

They were GREAT, asked me to check the area it was found, just incase there was a disturbed nest and as its unual for a HH to just have one baby to look for others, then to bring it down to the vets who would then decide what to do with it.

We took it to the vets and they have kept it to hand rear, but will ring us to let us know how he's getting on.

Wicked LO

Wicked sides
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

I think i'm 99% sure I like it this way, but I guess that could all change again once I get the picture on there.

Who knew this was so stressful! lol

YELLOW CAR

Anyone who knows me, knows I always play the 'yellow car game'

I'd like to think myself as quiet good at it!

Apprantly so my sister C15 had just told me I was even playing it in my sleep last night!!! ha ha ha I WMSL over that!

Scrapbooking

New album
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

As some of you may know, I've recently got into scrapbooking.

I look at the mags and some of the LO (layouts) are amazing.
I've done a few I really love, but no where near as good as some of the others i've seen!

This one here is my 2nd project for my Step Mum for Christmas, its going to be an album of flowers from the garden and things.
My sister helped with this page a little and I have to admit I love it!

It needs a few finishing touches, like a few sprakles in the top left hand corner! But all in good time! :o)

The Twins

The Twins
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

I met the twins for the 1st time today.
Totally fell in LOVE!
They are sooooo beautiful!

But then their brother AJ is mega adorable and funny!
Had a really lovely day with Mrs Bear at Bluewater. AJ was so well behaved and could have been alot more spoilt than he was!

Just can't to get into a regualr routine with them all. Can't believe how busy i've been :o(

Not got anything to say tonight, could have a moan about K but its just wasting my time and energy...what will be will be.
I can deal with anything. I hope!

Might go up norf! earlier than I planned, but will see what tomorrow will bring.

blah blah blah

I haven't been on for a day and a bit and sooooooooo much has happened.

1) Wicked was totally AMAZING and I loved it soooooo much! In fact the whole day out was fantastic, NHM, Butterfly thing at NHM, V&A and of course Wicked!

2)I spent my 1st night in MONTHS with K. I didn't get over there till about 1 as I had to drop my sis V26 off at home before going over but once I got there was so nice just falling asleep on his chest without a care in the world.
But of course the whole dynamics of our realationship has changed again now as C11 and R10 are back from there mummies and I won't see him now till...goodness knows when as he won't want to leave them to go out with me.
He doesn't see it like this, of course he doesn't...but we'll see. I don't expect anything has changed just basically been used for 3 weeks coz he's been bored as the kids haven't been about.
Anyway enough of that coz it makes me sad :o(

3) Had a wonderful BBQ at Emily's today with some friend. ate far too much but just enjoyed chatting and doing 'normal' things!
I think Emily is lovely, there is nothing about her I dislike :o)

4)I brought lots of scrapbooking stuff on ebay, too much.
But want to gets a start on a few more pages...some from the weekend activities and some for my stepmum with flowers of her garden...got all the ideas, just hope it comes out ok!

Got a busy day tomorrow and I can't wait to met my friends NB twins! :o)
I will be sure to get lots of pictures!

Just gotta be positive....send me good vibes to stay happy! x

2 weeks HOLIDAY whooooohooooooo!

So as of yesterday I am offically on holiday for 2 WEEKS!!!

I went down the pub last night with K and played darts (2-2 for all those interested!)

Today I'm looking for scrapbooking stuff on ebay, got a few bits that I needed, stupid thing thought, I forgot to change the address so they are all being posted to work! DOH!
Then when we're ready my sister V and I are off on a London Adventure, shopping no doubt and the we're going to see Wicked! So excited!

Sunday BBQ @ Emilys
Monday Bluewater to meet Mrs Bear for lunch and maybe more shopping!
Tuesday London with C15 and J10
Wednesday meeting a new gumtree friend
Thursday hopefully meeting a fellow nanny for lunch without children!
Friday off to Huddersfield to spend some more time with my family up there
Then Wednesday off to Leeds to visit my Auntie J and staying till Friday when I will travel 4hours back down the motorway!!!!
Saturday off to Thorpe Park with Fellow nannies for a fun day out!

Can't wait for it all to start!

camping

camping
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

Yesterday I took S6 and I3 camping.

We were meant to camp at Barleylands, but when we got to the campsite, we were met by gale force winds and heavy rain.
I managed to get the main part of the tent up alone and pegged down, but I couldn't get the waterproof part over the text by myself in the wind.
So after 30mins of trying I stropped and took the tent back to my mummies house and pitched it up 15ft or so from the back of our house!

As you can tell from the picture we cooked marsh mallows over the BBQ later in the evening (well 8ish)
Then we settled down for the night...HA HA HA HA
I3 didn't fall asleep till 10.30, S6, J10 and myself were between 11 and 12. J10 and myself were then woken up at around 4 by a little girl who was having nightmares about spiders in the tent!!!!

'Shhhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh I3 its ok Sarah is here, lets put our head down and sleep, Sarah will throw those spiders out shhhhh, sshhhhhhh'

I3 then decided she wants a FULL BLOWN conversation with me at 4 in the morning! ha ha ha
I'm still shhhhhh, shhhhhing her! lol (as you would coz its 4 in the morning!!!)

Then we're up at 7!!!

I3 'Can I have more chocolate now?'

Yeah of course at 7 in the morning!!!!!

Cooked sausages and beans on the BBQ for breakfast..nice :o)

And then headed off to Barleylands for a spot of craft shopping (Sorry girls) and then a walk round the farm.

All in all been a REALLY lovely few days, despite the fact I'm MEGA tired!!! Well its 10 now so guess not too early to sleep!

I love my mummy :o)

I've been for a lovely roast dinner cooked by my mummy!

I love being there and not having to listen to kids shouting (well young kids shouting) and just being able to sit on the sofa and surf the net, rather than sit behind my bedroom door! lol

Also heard from my sister (who is still up in Huddersfield) and I wish I could give her a big hug. She's really worrying, about nothing, but worrying.
I wish there was more I could do, like get to the bottom of the worrying and talk to her about it, but we haven't got that sort of friendship.
Its hard, Just wanna help her!

But thats just part of me, willing to help everyone else!

Usually I'll put the others 1st and me last, and I'm doing well at changing that it alot of areas, its not been applied in all! (not that I wanna push my sister away, I do really want to help her!)

Hmmmmmm thoughts, thoughts, thoughts!!!!

Rant, rant, rant!

Why is it coz i'm 24 people assume I can't do things?

Had K treating me like his mother treats me, patronising me about putting a tent up.

I'm sick of it!

I may only be 24 but i've looked after myself for over 10years

I can do EVERYTHING that anyone older can do! I'm not stupid!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Weekend away!

DSC01616
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

Today I drove back from Huddersfield.

Feel really sad every time I leave as I love visiting my Dad, Step Mum and brother.
Feel like i've missed out on so much over the last 10years not really keeping in contact, I can't wait to go up again on the 22nd!
I took some really lovely pictures while I was up there, they have the most amazing garden, and my Dad has a FAB veggie patch I can't wait till next year to make mine bigger!
I've put a few pics on facebook just to bored people! LOL :o)

I did find out today though that; Gardening is said to be one of the best exercises for maintaining healthy bones

Just one of the many random facts I learnt today...along with 99% of people can't lick their own elbow (and laughed when my friend C actually tried it!)

Also I've offically told people that K and I are back together...we'll giving things a go. But he's not so wiling to do so...so i'm back to this whole confusing thing! I love him to bits, I really do...just very unsure at the moment of where things are going to end up!
I'm just gonna take each day as it comes and see what happens....live for the moment!

Who knows what is going to be around the corner!

Any ho, got a busy week, 3 birthday parties...don't get too excited, just children's ones but will be good fun!
Also off camping with S6 and I3, only local but can't wait!

Its offical..coz facebook says so!

That K and I are currently 'In a relationship'

Not 100% sure on how I feel about it, but I do know I love him...just not sure if its enough.

I'm sure I'll find out again soon!

Things up norf are great, having a really lovely time, although I can not wait to get back into a more comfortable bed! lol

General mind clearing!

8-08-08 (1)
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

Today i'm blogging from Huddersfield!

My sister and I drove up to surprise our dad, and boy was he surprised to see us both up at the same time!

Can't wait to spend the weekend like old times!

Feeling generally good today, realsing more and more that I'm not that awful as a person...and I certainly can't change who I am.
I'm gutted my friend G and I are back to square one again, but thats coz we're both so stubborn! lol
Mental note to make more of a effort! lol

K's went away for suit fitting last night (well suit fitting today but stayed with friends) didn't hear from him till about lunch time today and have then hardly spoken to him at all, feel a little sad about it, but won't tell him that!
But as much as I miss him, I am enjoying chatting to a friend!
I know I don't NEED K just like the fact he knows everything about me and i can talk to him about everything...apart from our 'relationship'

Right head cleared...going to sleep, 3hours driving has killed me!

The Rage!

The Rage!
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

This pink/yellow monster is the ride known as 'The RAGE'

Today, I was dragged on kicking and screaming by S6!!!

I do many things as a nanny i'd really rather not do, this is one of them!!! (I also do spiders and more recently frogs, snails and hissing cockroaches!!!!)

I hated it, laughed stupidly while going round, and then told S6 that I was no longer her nanny as I couldn't handle the rides! lol
S6 then tried to drag me back on! NOT HAPPENING! LOL

All in all was a lovely day despite the rides! :o)

Feeling sad...

Been one of those days.
Poor kitten got attacked by our dog and died at 8days old :o(
Mummy kitten is very sad, you can see it in her eyes...

Plus I'm feeling really hurt by friends. Don't wanna go into details as I obviously need to sort the issues out with friends but just feel sad :o(

Maybe the weather doesn't help!

Hope all is well for tomorrow...The RAGE here we come!!!!
Ahhhhhhh

Red Panda

Red Panda
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

Today we went to the zoo..I love the zoo but will admit i'm a fair weathered zoo go er...I don't mind cold, I just HATE the rain!!!!

The whole atmosphere seemed to change in the rain :o(

I was meant to go with some nanny friends...but there is a story behind then spending it alone with the girls and the S our cleaner.

Had a nice day, just a bit miserable in the rain! lol

That is all :o)

A wise lady once....

...explained to me that life was like a box...If you have just one box and it gets taken away...what are you left with?
So rather than having just one box, split your life into many of boxes, if one gets taken away what then do you have?

Now I laughed and joked about why boxes? Why not cirlces (which is a VERY good questions with a long answer that if you want to know just comment and i'll tell you!)

But since everything in my life has been turned upside down I'm starting to understand why...K was my WHOLE life, everything I did was about K and his children C11 & R10. Since then I have decided not to give my everything to ONE person/thing!
My life now, consists of things that make me happy, and despite my 'friends' taking the piss about my hobbies, I actually couldn't give a toss as for once I am actually doing things that I enjoy!
I love my vegetable plot, its relaxing and slightly exciting...I also can't wait to start my scrapbooking, I think its such a lovely way to keep my memories! And also a little excited about finding a darts team to play for!

I'm just happy finally being me!

Also just for the record I have a injured wrist, so my guitar hero dreams will have to be put on hold (it was that that caused the damage!!!!) Ha ha ha

And....while i'm still here, DON'T go and see Love Guru...it was AWFUL!

Boot Sale

Today I did a boot sale with K.

I didn't take anything along, due to the short notice and all my belongings being at work, but helped K sell his 'stuff'. We did really well and he made £170, could have been a little more if we'd not had burgers, drinks, sweets and ice cream...which were all in close distance of our pitch!!!!!!

I got a real bargin, Singing Troy and Gabriella dolls (for S6 and I3 I'll have you know!) for £5!!! (RRP £35.98) They are hardly played with all clothes and shoes and stands as well! I'm so chuffed! Know the girls will be too!

We also saw

Lorne Spicer

Who does a day time T.V show, Boot Sale Challenge or something similar....pretending I don't know!!!!

They were obviously filming, and were spending a lot of time at the stall next to ours!

Unfortunatly AJ didn't come with us, which was a real shame. Feel like I've let his mummy down :o(

Totally need to make up for it!

After the boot sale, we went down the pub, had a drink and a game of darts, followed by dinner which will mean the lbs i've lost this week will all be back on! lol

Hey ho, its been a great day! :o)

Friends :o)

DSC01491
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

2nd friend we visited was Sarah, who was back from Canada. It was lovely to see her and its like 5months and NOTHING much has changed between us!

Also went to see Hancock Friday, sat in the big leather seats at the cinema, stuffed popcorn and drank too much Pepsi!
Film was soooo funny, really enjoyed it.

I'm doing a boot sale tomorrow, selling. Should be a laugh and also I get the pleasure of my friends little boy AJ, can't wait! :o) Have a feeling someone will be spoilt!

Can't wait to see what next week holds!

Natural?!

DSC01489
Originally uploaded by sarahletch

I went to visit some friends today, 1st up was Julie who recently gave birthday to baby L.
I spent the WHOLE time we were there totally hogging her!
I always expected that by now, I would be a mummy, and I am totally broody and wish I was in a place.
But have got my head screwed on and know that its not my time right now!
Any ho, was GREAT catching up with friends, and had a really lovely day!